Unplugged

Recently, my husband and I made the decision to drastically reduce the amount of “screen time” that was occurring in our home.  Amongst other reasons, we didn’t like the patterns of behavior that we were seeing in our kids.  On a typical day, the kids would wake up, and each watch videos on their own tablet while they ate breakfast.  I would yell at them to eat, and they would barely respond as they were absorbed in whatever they were viewing.  On the way to school, they would sometimes watch a preloaded Netflix episode on my phone. After school, they would come home and play while I made dinner. After dinner and baths they were allowed videos again until bed. When we went to restaurants, they would play games on our phones.  If we attended an event at church, they would be allowed videos…etc., etc.

One day, about 3 weeks ago I took the tablets, and put them on the shelves where they have sat, untouched.  Simultaneously, I deleted a few Social Media apps from my phone, so I didn’t have instant access to the ways that I liked to zone out and disconnect from personal relationships as well.  I expected this to be a hard process, but I have to tell you…so far, I love what I am seeing.

My son has not once asked me for his tablet.  He is reading more, playing games with his sister, asking to go outside.  My daughter has rediscovered her love for coloring, drawing, and all things play-doh.  This morning, I walked out of the kitchen to see them both drawing and laughing with one another.  My son was teaching my daughter how to write some words. 

When we go to a restaurant, they draw pictures or – miracle of miracles, we have a family conversation!  The other night, we went out to eat, and I couldn’t help but notice the family seated near us.  Every person at that table spent much of their time looking at their own phones and shared little conversation, or even glances at one another.  I watched them; not judgmentally but, rather with sadness.  Three weeks ago, that was us at a restaurant.  I told myself that I would never be a parent who uses electronics to appease my kids in order to make my life easier…but that is exactly who I have become.  

I told myself that my husband and I were justified in allowing some relaxed screen time because, we both work full-time jobs.  Although, not physically demanding work, I come home each day tired, and I still have to make dinner and clean-up, etc.  It doesn’t hurt to let them watch a few more videos, so that I can have a quiet evening and not have to entertain them. The truth is, being a parent is my first and most important full-time job.  If anything needs to take a backseat, it shouldn’t be the quality time that I spend with my kids. My children need me…all of me. They don’t need the things that I can buy them, or the mostly distracted responses that I give them because I’m too busy expending myself elsewhere.  They need my attention.  They need to see me prioritize my time with them and their father.  They need to know that they are what’s important.

Over the course of the past few weeks, we have rediscovered what it means to be a family. I have realized that; as frustrated as I was with my kids constantly wanting their face in a screen; they were just as frustrated with me and my obsession with it. Let’s be real; they still watch t.v. But more often than not these days, I am playing catch with son in the backyard. I am watching my daughter ride her scooter and chase frogs. We are laughing together and playing family games on the living room floor. We are looking into each other’s eyes, having conversations, listening to each other….and loving every minute of it.