One of the hardest parts of parenting that I have encountered, is properly conveying the love of God in the midst of a fallen world. All, while trying to describe the complexity of it in 4 year old language.
Sometimes, on our daily commute, my kids like to look over the photos in my phone. They reminisce about trips that we have taken. They laugh at each other’s potty training photos. They ask about the details surrounding pictures they have forgotten. Sometimes…these light-hearted conversations take a more serious turn. On this occasion, my daughter was looking through photos, and came across a picture of a sweet girl who now lives in heaven. In the course of our conversation and how I came to have this picture, my daughter asked me “Mom, why didn’t God fix her, if she was born sick?”
Oh, my Girl. I wanted to say- “I wish we didn’t have to have conversations like this. I wish that death were not a part of your experience, and that disease and defect were not terms you needed to understand. I wish that life would always be good to you. I wish that you didn’t have to question death, and that we didn’t have to pray for friends and family who were ill. I wish I didn’t have to remind you about what happened to those we have lost, when you ask me again why we can no longer visit them. I wish that we could always look back on pictures and only laugh and smile. I wish that some pictures didn’t arouse sadness and difficult conversations. I wish I could shield you from so much.”
But, I can’t.
So, God…please give me the words to tell her how much You love her.
“The thing is, Bean…God is very good, and He loves us so much. But we live in a world where people have made bad choices. Remember how we talked about Adam and Eve? Because of those bad choices we have to deal with things like our friends and family getting sick. We have to deal with things like having to say goodbye to people before we are ready. We have to deal with things like, being sad and sometimes lonely, and often wishing things were different. But, God loves us sooo much, that He takes all that pain away if we let Him. Sometimes, He heals our friends who are very sick; but sometimes, He lets them go home to live with Him, so they don’t have to hurt anymore. The best thing is…someday, we get to see them again.”
“Because, someday we get to go to heaven too!”
“That’s right. Someday we get to go to heaven too.”
The truth is…I don’t know, Sweet Girl. I don’t know why some people get better, and others don’t. I don’t know why God allows the things that He does. I don’t know why He doesn’t always heal. I don’t know why some days hurt. This life rarely makes sense. But I know one thing without a doubt. God loves you sooooooo much. I want you to know it too. I want you to believe it with everything inside of you. Because, the truth is; hard days will come. Hard days that cause you to question everything. In those moments, when nothing else makes sense…I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt that God’s love will keep you together. Yes, I want you to know it to your core. So, I guess I’ll just keep saying it-God loves you, soooo much.
Backseat Conversations 